Old Job/New Job

Hello again, folks. There are big changes ahead. Now that I will be down to one job, I will have more time on my hands.

One job? you ask. What will you do with all your free time?

Maybe sleep, instead of looking like this every morning:

Or write (which, let's be honest, I should be doing ALL the time anyway):

But I will admit that it will be strange, going from two jobs, where I was spending anywhere between 68 to 70 hours of my time to one job where I might spend a mere 40 hours a week. I'm moving to work full-time as an assistant manager at the bookstore where I've been working part-time for past seven months. I know I've sworn up and down that I wouldn't return to retail, but this will be different, since instead of trying to push crappy, expensive costume jewelry onto people, I'll be surrounded by books and people who appreciate them.

Mostly accurate as to how my new job will be. 

But it's scary. I hate ending old jobs and moving into new ones, mostly because I doubt myself and my abilities. Which is terrible, I'm aware. I'm sure most people have this same feeling of doubt and regret. The only job I was so ready to leave was my retail job at Bloomingdale's. When that time came, it was not unlike this:

So yes, I'm leaving the super big corporation that I've been at for a little over a year to be a part of the indie bookstore world, which I think is going to be much more satisfying, both professionally and personally. I will never again have to deal with C-level assholes who think that because they have a six figure paycheck, they can treat me like dirt. I won't, however, be able to claim an editor title anymore, which does make sad (even though no one really understood what I did for a career when I would try to explain it anyway).

This wasn't a bad job per se, it just wasn't anything I could see myself doing long-term. And it did offer me enough flexibility when I was in school to stay in school and not worry about having specific hours in the office, and for that I'm grateful.

Today is my last day at my old job and it's pretty anticlimactic, really. But once 5 pm hits, for sure I'll be like:

Not How I Wanted to Spend the Remainder of My Saturday Night

Ten steps to killing a hornet that has decided to sequester itself in your apartment at midnight on a Saturday night:

Step One: Say "Fuck me. Why you chose to curl up in this 150 foot space is beyond me, buddy. But there's barely enough room for me, so you gotta go."

Step Two: Realize that there are no tools efficient enough in your apartment to kill said hornet, and must resort to taking Febreze from bathroom.

Step Three: Muse about whether it is bees or hornets that are attracted to the color red, as you realize that you're wearing red tights. Assume that it is bees, and look around for other hornet-killing objects as back up. Take random paper object from the mail that you've not thrown away and roll it up.

Step Four: Gain enough courage to spray Febreze on hornet whilst screaming "No!" as if your words will somehow make hornet give up its fight to possibly sting you in the face. 

Step Five: Watch in horror as hornet rolls itself into a ball underneath the half inch of windowsill that it is has been perched on in an attempt to escape. Grab Windex, thinking that perhaps it is stronger in its ammonia power and spray that onto hornet.

Step Six: Scream "No!" some more, hoping that neighbors don't think that you're being attached by a home invader. 

Step Seven: Repeatedly hit hornet with rolled up paper object and drag it across windowsill, hoping for hornet's guts to appear. 

Step Eight: Look at the aftermath and see wooden splinters in windowsill that were already there, but no hornet guts.

Step Nine: Further investigate windowsill, and see no fruits of your hard labor. Assume that hornet's guts were smashed into sill and are not clear to naked eye. 

Step Ten: Attempt to fall asleep, hoping that apartment does not end up like that one woman's bed that ended up being a nest for an entire colony of hornets.*

*I couldn't stand the thought of having to go through the Internet and see all the terrifying things that would pop up if I Googled "hornet nest in woman's bed" so you can do that yourself if you're really that curious. 

Update: I looked at the windowsill on Sunday morning, and saw the remains of the hornet smashed in between the lip of the window and the bottom of the window frame, so victory to me, and death to all insects with stingers that decide my apartment is the best place for them. NOPE. None of that, now. 

Yes, I Have Moved...AGAIN

As some of you know, September 1st the time to move in Boston. The largest turnover in housing happens on this date, and it is a mass exodus of people hauling their stuff all over the city and the surrounding areas. My move last year was not terrible, aided by the rain and the help of a friend, and fortunately, I was settled in more or less within a few hours.

This year, however, I had more things and more furniture, as it happens when you stay in a place for a year, and are forced to move on the city's time frame, I had to make things work with a whole weekend of moving. In between my two jobs, scheduling movers, and moving into a smaller apartment than my current place, this turned into a disaster, and I'm still recovering.

But to help make me less stressed about living in a space that is about as large as my room in my former apartment, I've decided to make a list of all the things I will not miss about my old apartment. It's called, closure, people.

I must put a disclaimer that I am well aware of the housing crisis that is happening in the area (to read more, one of my managers at the bookstore has written several very informative articles for dig Boston. Click here here here) and I am very grateful that I am in a place where I can live on my own and have a space that is my own.

Right-o, the top 5 things I will NOT miss about my old apartment (in no particular order):

1. The fat-asses who lived above me and who insisted on jumping on their trampoline at all hours of the day

Oh yes, the dreaded upstairs neighbors. Everyone has lived underneath these people. The people that don't realize that their floor is your ceiling, and that yes, you can always hear them having sex. My roommate had the constant-sex maniacs in the room above hers; I had the trampoline fanatics. Needless to say, the trampoline antics went on for longer than the sex-capades, and we always wondered what these people looked like who walk around in the apartment (were they sumo wrestlers? giants?) since they sounded like they were about to come crashing through our ceiling any time they were walking around. When we finally did see these people, it wasn't what we were expecting at all. I will not miss their loudness.

I'm pretty sure this is what was happening upstairs.

2. The mice

I know, I know, the city where I lived is fondly known as Allston Rat City. I knew this when we were looking for apartment last year, and I certainly know this now, as the mice made several appearances in that apartment. What I wasn't expecting were for the mice to sound like they are dragging their tiny feet across the floor and getting ready to take up residence in my bed at 3am. Nor was I expecting a completely blasé landlord to not do anything about the mice roaming the halls of not just my apartment, but several others. My favorite interaction with the landlord was when I was asked, "Do you keep food on the ground? We've had other tenants keep food on the ground, and that tends to attract the mice." WHO THE HELL KEEPS FOOD ON THE GROUND? Why would you need to keep food on the ground? There are cupboards; there is a refrigerator. Unless you have SO MUCH food that it is literally falling out of both of those places, there is no need to be a sloppy, lazy asshole who keeps food on the ground. I will not miss the rodents.

This is what I imagined running around my floor. Cute, isn't it?

3. The B line

My apartment was conveniently located about a block from the B line - far away to not hear the train every time it came up and down the street, but also not close enough that I wasn't out of breath if I had to go sprinting for it in the morning. Again, another oversight on my part when I was looking for an apartment is that the B line has more stops on it than any other green line train. So when I was cursing the person who has their armpit in my face at 7:30 in the morning and the hoards of drunk college students that take up residence on the B line anytime I just wanted to get home and put on sweatpants, it was my own damn fault. I will not miss these cretins.

4. People who trashed the foyer/mailbox area and would leave the front door unlocked

I'm putting these two types of people in the same category because all these shenanigans happen in the same area. I can't tell you the number of times when I would come home and see that someone had left the front door to the building unlocked. Granted, it's a little confusing to tell if the door is locked or unlocked, but I would think that people would pay attention when taking their key out of the lock. Also, the people that felt the need to strew all of the ads left in the foyer were clearly mentally unstable. When the foyer looked like a Mardi Gras parade went through it at 2 am, you know there are some people with way too much time on their hands. My favorite story involves my roommate going downstairs to get the mail, only to find someone (who doesn't live in the building, mind you), sitting in the foyer, ripping up coupons for a local pizza place into tiny pieces and blocking the exit. If you do not want the ads from all the local food establishments, then take them into your apartment and throw them away. Don't leave them all over the ground so that I can trip and break my face on the stairs. I will not miss these inconsiderate fools.

Not entirely inaccurate.

5. People who left their laundry in the washer or dryer for hours, or the people that pulled my laundry out if I'd left it in either machine for twenty seconds past the timer

Now I'm aware that these people exist everywhere - apartments, college dorms, maybe even in your own home - sure, but I swear I practically had to sit on top of the laundry machines any time I tried to do my laundry, or it would turn into the Hunger Games for the use of the facilities. There were two washers and two dryers for 12 apartments, and frequently one or more of the machines would be broken. I'm a clean person, and I like my clothes to be clean. But when Frat Boy #1 can't be bothered to pull his boxers out of the washer for two hours, then I get mad. Many times I would come back the next day to finish dying clothes that I didn't get a chance to dry the night before, only to find that the person who left their clothes in the dryer before still hadn't pulled their stuff out. Unless you've died, or had someone close to you die, there is no need to leave your clothes unsupervised for 24 hours. I will not miss the laundry hogs.

Just add a laundry basket and this was me going for the washer. 

I've moved into my new apartment, which has its own set of quirks, the most significant one being that it approximately 150 square feet, and I'm still convinced that my loft bed that I put together will fall apart and I will end up on the floor in a broken heap.

SO MUCH ROOM FOR ACTIVITIES!

Until next time, happy Friday!

Top 10 Things I've Learned While Navigating the World of Online Dating

As it seems to be tradition, I will start off by apologizing. I have not gone off the grid and been hiking in the Sahara, nor have I been trapped on top of a mountain somewhere, which is I'm sure where you thought I was. No, I've been working, working, and then working some more. Not really writing, but reading a lot, which is sort of a weird change of pace, I have to admit. But this post isn't about my continual complaints about how I think my writing is progressively getting worse (which I'm sure it is; anything I get on the page is just word vomit at this point), but rather, this post is about my misadventures with online dating.

Online dating sounds fun, right? I mean, they have those TV commercials every five minutes with happy couples going, "I was too busy to go out at night", or "I wanted to be more selective with the people I wanted to date," so they joined idontwanttobealoneanymore.com or iwanttogetmarriednow.com or whatever. Then the voice-overs are cut with images of them running through a field of flowers with their now significant other that they met on the so-and-so dating site and they're set to get married after two blissful months of painting, eating delicious food at very expensive restaurants, or cliff-diving - whatever the commercial decides to intersperse into the subconscious of pathetic creatures like myself who are wearing sweatpants at 7pm on a Friday night and eating quantities of cereal the likes of even Jerry Seinfeld has not seen.

I can relate so, so much. 

I hemmed and hawed about joining an online site, I'll admit it. But like those commercials, I don't have a whole lot of free time to go out and meet people at bars, or bookstores, or on the sides of cliffs a la the Groupon that seemed good to purchase at 3am. So I joined up on a site, and thought, "Okay, I can do this. This will be fun. I'm an interesting person. I have a lot to offer. Bring it on, online dating."

Oh, how naive I was. How naive and how wrong.

And so, folks, here are my top ten lessons learned while dating online.

1. It doesn't matter how interesting you are, if you can't really see your face in your profile photo, you might as well be wearing a bag over your head.

During my first time of creating a profile, I made so many rookie mistakes. Apparently the photo I had initially wasn't interesting enough to pull someone in, a photo which I thought was fine - a cropped shot from an outing to see the Nutcracker this past winter. I was wearing a nice dress and smiling. Not terrible, right? Wrong. One of my friends told me it was too far away that no one could really see my face. I protested and said that wasn't the point. She said, "As much as you don't want to hear it, you're trying to sell yourself on these sites. A guy will take approximately five seconds to decide whether he wants to read your profile, and if he can't see your face, then you might as well not have a photo at all." She was right - in the time that I had that first photo up, my inbox had tumbleweeds rolling through and not much else. Another my friend suggested I use a photo with and I quote "side boob." I changed my photo to one that was more in focus and where it showed more of my personality. And maybe a little side boob.

The messages came in a bit more consistently after that.

2. Half the people that reach out to you probably won't read your profile.

Another one of my mistakes when I first starting this was that I didn't specify what I was looking for in a potential date, so when people started emailing me, I was getting a whole slew of personalities, from the 50+ divorcees with children as old as I am, to people who were 6 inches shorter than me. Or smokers, or people who drink "regularly" (note to those people - that's not a good idea to put that you drink regularly; it sounds like you walk around with a flask on you at all times or are drinking constantly; neither of which appeal to me). In the same week, I had one 18 year old who was still in high school message me, followed shortly by a man old enough to be my grandfather. I realized that no matter what I did, no matter what I put on my profile, people like that were going to blow past everything and message me. It was annoying more than anything else, because I felt like they were wasting their time, and mine. And that's not cool.

This is accurate, but I do not endorse the incorrect use of "let's."

3. People will lie. 5'10" in real life is actually closer to 5'8". Or 5'7".

I know that people will stretch the truth a bit online, that's apparently the norm, but I'd like people to know who they're talking to before we meet and vice versa. So I'm not going to put that I'm 5'9" and curvy, because when 5'6" average-sized me comes walking up, it's clear that I'm not who I put I was in my profile. There's no need to tack on or take out information about yourself that's all too apparent when I meet you. One guy I went on a date with definitely was a few inches shorter than what he put in his profile, and not willing to admit it, even as I towered over him. Another guy who was in a wheelchair said that "everything was functional" when we were talking online, but when we met for the first time and I realized that he didn't have full use of his hands and had a live-in assistant, it startled me and I didn't know how to react. I don't like being caught off guard and in those instances, I would have rather someone told me the truth than trying to cover up some aspect of themselves.

4. There will be the weirdos. They will all come out of the shadows at once.

The great thing about the Internet is that you can be anyone you want. The bad thing about the Internet is that you can be anyone you want. I went on one date with a guy who started off by telling me his idea of a perfect date was putting his date in a glass box and watching her. He seemed quirky when we talked prior to our date, but not to the point where I thought I was going to be locked up like a victim in a horror movie. If you get any sort of red flag from anyone, abort, abort. You don't owe anyone anything. Don't feel like you have to go on a second date or talk to anyone if they make you uncomfortable. The very first message I received was from a guy who was a self-professed Disney fan. I don't mind Disney, but he was over the top, and also gave me a list of questions he wanted me to answer to see if we were compatible. One of them was which Hogwarts house I thought I belonged in. Funny conversation starter if you're on a date with someone; not funny if it's someone who you have not actually met in real life, or has yet to speak to you. People who message you at 2am are not people that you want to see in the daytime, nor are the people who send you 3 messages within an hour and then demand a response if they don't hear anything from you.

No, Patrick, I will not go on a date with you. 

5. Some people are looking for relationships. Some people are looking for "the one." Others just want to hook up. Figure out what you want, and look for people who want the same thing.

Another mistake I made was that with a lot of the people whose profiles I was looking at were looking for really specific things. I joined the site to meet people, to maybe have someone to go to the movies with, or to grab drinks with after work - nothing terribly serious. Some people are aiming for marriage and there's no deterring them. Two dates in, one guy wanted to bring me home to his folks. Needless to say I politely declined then never called him again. Another guy wanted to meet up the same day we started talking - clearly there was only one thing on his mind. Others were all over the spectrum. It's hard to figure out what people want, so sometimes you just have to ask them point blank. Don't expect you'll get a clear answer though - you might just get a vague, "Yeah, sure," or a fifteen minute monologue about their plans for the next five years.

6. You might have a great time with someone and then they'll never call you again. It happens. Get over it.

You have a great first date with someone, the chemistry is there, everything goes over smoothly, and you think, "Okay, surely there will be a second date. Right? RIGHT?" Nope, not so much. I can't tell you how many first dates I went on where I thought, "I didn't drop food in my lap, or trip, or say anything too stupid or embarrassing, so he has to call. Or text. Or email," and instead the only sound I heard was crickets chirping.

Or, you could not hear from someone for months, then see them at a local mall with a woman who is shorter, thinner, and prettier than you while you're on the phone with your grandmother telling you that you need to get your life in order, which leads you to think, "Ohhhh...so that's why he didn't call. I thought he died." (And yes, that's very much in line with Miranda on Sex and the City saying, "It’s like those guys you have the great second date with, and then never hear from them again. I pretend they died.")

The opposite of that is you could have a terrible date, and think, "I really need to move to Madagascar so this person can't find me ever again," and when you try to let them down slowly, they don't want to go, or they try to talk you out of not seeing them. I've considered going undercover and getting a new identity when this happens because it really annoying to get four text messages back-to-back with,

"Why haven't you called me?"
"I thought we were going to go out again."
"We can still be friends."
"Fine, you don't know what you're missing."

I went on three dates with one guy and had a good time with him during all of them, then he didn't contact me for a week. I let it go, thinking, I'm busy and he's busy, so no big deal. After two weeks I should have realized that maybe he wasn't interested anymore, but like a bulldog, I dug in, and wanted a response; some sort of closure. A text message with "I'm really connecting with someone else I met online. You're a fantabulous woman and good luck on your dating adventures," didn't help to soften the blow. It just made me want to run that guy over with a semi-truck for waiting until I messaged him instead of just telling me he'd met someone else.

7. There are a lot of really dumb people out there.

For people that know me, I take grammar very seriously. I also take spelling very seriously. Now I'm not requiring that every guy I date has to have at least a graduate degree (though it would be nice), but please, for the love of all that is holy, know how to use "your" vs. "you're." I can't tell you the number of guys I thought might be interesting enough to message or poke or wink at or whatever, but then I read their profile and it says something like "If your drama, I don't want anything to do with you" or "I loves what I do." We live in a technologically advanced day and age; it's (metaphorically) mind-blowing to me that someone could write in such a manner and think that it's okay to do so.

Thank you, Anne Ferguson.

8. Apparently there is a cycle for what to do on dates. Coffee or drinks, then maybe a movie, or another coffee meet-up, then maybe dinner, etc. etc.

Another mistake I made was that I invited a guy to see a movie for our second date. I guess that was too serious, so he never called me again. Chelsea Handler has an old bit about how she's confused as to how meeting up for coffee has morphed into a date. And it's true. It's a lot like the trend for job interviews now - a recruiter or an HR person will talk to you before they decide whether they should invite you to an interview. That's a lot like dating - the coffee meet-up is the precursor to the actual date, where you figure out if this is a person that you would spend your time on a date with. Even though, if you're like me, then you spend as much time getting ready for coffee as you do for a date, and when the date doesn't happen after the coffee meet-up, you think, "That was a damn waste of lipstick. I could have been at home wearing sweatpants and eating cereal."

9.  People keep saying that there are always more options out there. If so, where are they?

I've been doing this for maybe eight months now. Not consistently, but enough to sort of figure out how things should go. However, even after eight months, I still can't say that I can fully understand online dating. I've had many different scenarios - I've messaged guys and never heard back. I've said "no, thank you," and still received multiple messages from the same person. I've gone on dates, and not heard anything from the person every again. I've set up dates and then not had the person show up. There are so many scenarios, and yet, not one of them has gone on how I've thought it could. It's always gone into some bizarre, alternate universe direction that I can only watch in horror and/or disgust as it pans out. That being said...

10. Online dating, or dating in general, is not for everyone.

This is the realization I've come to. And maybe it's not my fault that I've not clicked with anyone online or in real life. There are other things to fill my time (like 60+ hour work weeks) and my writing (as terrible as it is) and reading (Everyone go read IN REAL LIFE and CROOKED RIVER when they come out - both are amazing) and doing really stupid shit like laughing at the sign for the Boston Tea Party Museum that says "MUSEUM DIRECTLY BEHIND YOU" (as though if you turned around, you'd immediately smash into the building). So what if I don't have a significant other to share those moments with?

As Chris Traeger on Parks and Rec says:

Perpetual Running to Catch Up With Myself

This will always remind me of Forest Gump. 

Hello again. I promised that I would catch everyone up on my life - not that it's all that exciting, but writing here makes me feel as if I'm being productive, if even for a little bit.

So for those of you who do read this blog, you've seen that I've traveled to a few places in the past year - Chicago, Berlin, and a quick jump to New York. I can now add DC to the list. The main reason to visit our nation's capital (other than the fact that I've never been there) was to meet up with my two best friends.

This about sums up our entire friendship. 

We were convinced that at some point the city of DC would drop kick us out and warn us never to return. That's just the type of shenanigans we usually get into. But we weren't banned from DC and I had a fantastic time.

Obligatory White House photo shot. Didn't get to see the Prez, unfortunately. 

Sitting precariously near the Lincoln Memorial. 

I've known these wonderful women for almost ten years now, and I've enjoyed every moment with them, whether it's taking photo ops with our neon yellow Johnny Depp tank top in highly inappropriate venues *cough with FDR's memorial cough*, or laughing about a little boy answering, "Conferences?" when asked by his father, "What do you think happens in the Capitol?"

The other big thing that's happened recently was that I graduated.

Yes, again.

Children's lit class of '14 - MA and MFA students pictured here. 

I am now officially the holder of a second master's degree, with a MFA in Writing for Children. It definitely was an odd mixture of excitement and sadness that I approached graduation. Excitement for the fact that I never have to write another academic essay ever, and sadness because I had enjoyed being back in school, working on my writing, meeting new people, and making new friends. But all good things must come to an end, and so must my career in academia.

The other big thing that has happened is that I have started a new job. No, not instead of my other one, but in addition to. I am now a bookseller at the fabulous Trident Booksellers & Cafe here in Boston. As one friend put it when I told her that I was working there, "Trident? That place is delicious." And delicious it is. I know I swore off retail after I stopped working at the place-that-shall-not-be-named *cough Bloomingdale's* but what I have found is that working in a bookstore is infinitely different and better than working in a department store. My job at the bookstore is actually very similar to what I did in my job as an undergrad, working in our library. Funny how ten years have passed, and I'm still shelving books. Not that I'm complaining, but it's definitely funny how life can come around full circle.

And lastly, the other noteworthy thing that has happened is that I started querying my manuscript. Finally. Querying is such a strange process. I've sent out many query letters and have received no confirmation that my manuscript is worth reading. Not one agent has said, "Yes, this might be something I'm interested in." Which has done wonders for my ego. I know everyone says that you have to grow thick skin when sending out your work into the world, and that you have to keep going, but it's difficult to do that when you get three or four or five rejection emails all back to back.

My critique group, the Ink Bombs, have been super supportive in helping me tweak my manuscript and for providing feedback, but I keep finding myself in the pit of despair that my work is worthless and that it'll just end up somewhere on my hard drive, unknown to the world. I volunteered for Mindy McGinnis' Saturday Slash, so I'm hoping that I will be able to keep whipping my query into shape, and that maybe some agent out there will at least want to see more of my manuscript. It's not Newbery worthy, by any means, but it's a good story.

I think.

Maybe.

And I know I should keep writing, but every time I sit down to write, I fall asleep, or I realize that my sock drawer needs organizing, or the people upstairs start jumping on their mini-trampoline in their foyer.

I should just move to somewhere remote for a year and then perhaps actual writing will be accomplished.

On I forge, with lots of bad writing, and some good writing.

Now that we're all caught up, kids, I think next time I'll divulge details regarding my adventures in online dating.

Until then...

Another Catch Up Post...Apologies in Advance

Hey gang.

It's been awhile, hasn't it?

Not too long, for all three of my readers, or maybe it's only two now, since it's been some time.

Anyway, here's a quick blurb about my life since my last post.

Stick around, why dontcha?

I saw the Used and Taking Back Sunday. It was a great show. The openers were bands that I'd never heard of prior to the show - Sleepwave and Tonight Alive - but I definitely thought their sounds were fun, and stuff that I probably would listen to now that I've heard them live.

Taking Back Sunday. I definitely felt that I was reliving 2004. In a good way.

The crowd was mixed with kids that were a lot younger than me, which made me feel really old, and people my age, which made me feel better that I wasn't the one oddball in the audience. I was in the pit the entire time, and as I mentioned in a previous post, maybe I just don't get pit culture, but there were some really rude people standing near me. I'm a fan of Taking Back Sunday, though I will admit that I haven't listened to some of their newer stuff, so when they were performing, I wasn't into it 100%, just because I didn't know some of their songs. But the people around were getting crazy, to the point where I wanted to hit them, because well, there's no need to keep elbowing me in the ribs just because Adam Lazzara is standing two feet away. Even with the elbowing going on, I had a good time listening to their set.

But it was when the Used took the stage that the tables turned, because I went crazy.

That's right, bitches. Bert McCracken in the house. 

The last time I saw the Used was around 2008. That was also the first time I saw them, and it was at the first Musink festival, where I saw a few semi-passable and some shitty bands before the Used took the stage. I was with my boyfriend at the time, who didn't really get their music (he told me this point blank) but he knew how much I liked them, so he went with me. Where I essentially ignored him for a good portion of the show, and basically all but forgot he was there.

Quinn Allman

This time it was better, because I was by myself and I could get as crazy over the band as I wanted to. Much to the chagrin of the folks around me, who apparently were bigger TBS fans, and gave me dirty looks when I was screaming the words to "The Taste of Ink." All in all, it was a fantastic show. The band was loud and fast and fun.

I think I might be getting too old for the pit though.

Next time: shenanigans in DC with my two best friends, graduation, details about my new (second) job, and all my querying woes.

And on that note, I am going to sleep. G'night, all!

Twice Affected

This is my entry for The Writer's Voice.

Twice Affected

Prologue

I was six the first time the glowing happened. It was at a birthday party for a girl on my block. Everything was pink. I didn't like it.

My fingers started glowing. I put my hands underneath my t-shirt and I could still see the glowing.

I’d just met a neighbor’s kid, and the girl wasn't very nice.

The voice started up in my head:

Go home, kid. Your fingers aren't going to stop glowing.

I’d looked around, thinking that maybe someone was playing a joke. I hid under a shrub.

"Who are you?" I asked, trying hard not to cry.

I’m Harold, the voice said, from inside my head. Don’t be afraid. I’ll help you. I’ll be with you always.

"But who are you?"

Your Guardian.

He said it like it started with a big G, like he was an adult. Guardian. Important.

"Are you an adult?"

I’m not human. Think of me as a purple frog, kid. Your friend.

We kept talking, and that was where my mother found me. I’d ruined the party because everyone thought that I had run away. Harold stuck around, and had a more permanent approach. The glowing would reappear eventually.

Present

The day had been gloomy and humid, with a thick stillness about it. Now, at dusk, the most exciting thing that was happening was that I was precariously hanging out of a window. This was not my idea of a good time, but it was the only option I had.


Query:

Since she was a child, Lottie has had glowing powers and a snarky voice in her head. Just before her seventeenth birthday, when she thinks that she’ll never figure out what both are meant for, she meets a boy named Charlie. He has similar glowing powers as Lottie, and he can maybe give her the answers that she’s been searching for. As they explore the truth behind their powers, Lottie and Charlie discover that it is up to them to save Earth from a malevolent enchantress that threatens utter destruction and slavery upon humankind. However, they also must save another world, Karnock, and its inhabitants, whose fate has been forever linked to Earth’s. Transported to Karnock, Lottie and Charlie see how the Atomic Bomb, Chernoybl, and global warming have all affected Karnock even more severely than they have affected Earth.

Can Lottie figure out how Earth’s past disasters fit into her current reality, gain control of her powers before she loses them completely, and embrace her destiny on Karnock to defeat the enchantress, before the enchantress seizes power over both worlds?

I am seeking representation for my completed 90,000 word YA science fantasy novel. Twice Affected is A Wrinkle in Time with a dash of An Inconvenient Truth.

I worked on this manuscript during the Fall 2013 semester at Simmons College with Amy Cherrix of Houghton Mifflin Harcourt as a project toward the completion of my Writing for Children Master of Fine Arts degree, which I will receive on May 9, 2014.

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Clarissa Hadge

Hey, Look Ma, I'm Doing Stuff

As promised, here are some more updates about what I've been up to in these past few months. Mostly trying to balance, work, school, and having a social life. I've also been getting my writing into shape for agent representation; I'm starting the querying process soon and while I'm excited, there's also a feeling akin to molten lava in the pit of my stomach every time I think about actually sending my work out, and thinking that no one will think that it's good enough. But that's where my writing group comes in - shout out to the Ink Bombs, what what! - so maybe one person will think my work's good enough to publish somewhere.

But enough of that.

Here's a recap of what I've been doing, more in the local area.

I decided earlier in the year that I needed to see more live theater and get to more shows. Fortunately, I've been able to catch Newsies on Broadway (as you may have read in my last post) and two shows here in Beantown.

The first one was Once.

No, unfortunately,  I can't take the credit for this photo. I wish I was sitting this close to the stage. 

Once tells the story of a guy and a girl and how in one brief moment in time, they come together to create some fantastic music. The show is based off of a 2006 film, staring Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (of the Swell Season fame) and has a beautiful soundtrack. The show changed a few aspects from the film, but the cast was incredibly talented - I was especially impressed when the entire cast was on stage, each member playing guitar. Seeing this show was definitely one of those times when I wished that I was more musically inclined. 

This about sums up my musical talent.

The second show I saw was American Idiot, but unlike Once, I felt more like a teenager, listening to the American Idiot album at 17. 

Which completely dates me, I'm aware. But this entire post probably will anyway. 

I remember reading an article somewhere about how it makes sense that Green Day had a song on the Twilight Breaking Dawn soundtrack, since they had the Broadway show, and in essence, they had grown up (sorry, that I can't remember where I read this, and an Internet search brings up too many options that aren't the right article). Anyway, while I could understand how this was true - I doubt Billie Joe and the boys are as rambunctious now as they were in their 20s, and American Idiot, the show, is a good mash-up of their punk days and what we can call their grown-up selves. 

The entire show is based around three boys - Johnny, Will, and Tunny - and their misadventures of leaving their suburban town and moving to the big city (or in Will's case, staying to help raise his child). It was interesting for me to watch this show as an adult, since as I mentioned, I listed to the album as a teenager, and seeing (as an adult) how dumb kids can be. And the show is reflective in on itself in that way; at one point Johnny remarks ironically something along the lines of, "I held up the 7-11 to get money so we could get out of here…I stole money from my mom's purse…actually, she lent it to me…"which I think is something that differs from the album itself. There was definitely less of a "fuck you, I don't need anyone" attitude in the show (though it's still there, just maybe toned down) and I think that's because Green Day has matured, has grown up. It's not a bad thing; I guess for anyone still imagining them in their "Dookie" days needs to realize that in their 40s, Green Day is not the same. I had a great time and the show was a lot of fun. 

On a slightly different note, I had the opportunity to see the Ataris perform at the Brighton Music Hall. Their "So Long, Astoria" tour came here before their final show for the tour went to New York. I've never been to the Music Hall, so it was fun to see one of my all-time favorite bands perform there. I'd also never had the opportunity to see the Ataris perform when I was a teenager, so I knew that this was going to be a good time. Funnily enough, I still have a band tee that I got literally ten years ago when "So Long Astoria" was released, so I'm all for keeping those shirts until the band gets back together for a reunion tour - even if it is ten years later. 

I don't have a photo of myself wearing the tee on hand, but here's the album cover. 

Now, I realized this last year when I saw Finch in concert - I'm not 17 anymore, and occasionally there will be wild people in the crowd who I will literally want to punch, and unfortunately cannot. Or that standing in the very front row will be tiring. So going in for this show, I had to psych myself up. I got there super early in order to get in that front row. I had no idea if the crowd was going to be comprised of people my age, who wouldn't necessarily want to mosh all night, or a bunch of teenagers who would want to do exactly that. Fortunately, it seemed to be a combination of both. 

Also on the tour was Authority Zero, Drag the River, Versus the World, and Gasoline Heart. I'd heard of all of these bands, but I'm not familiar with their music. They all put on a good show and I had a fun time, even when two guys next to me tried to mosh (but only with each other) and slammed me into a speaker. They realized that wasn't a smart move when I backpedalled them into the crowd so hard that they both fell down. Of course, the moshing started up again later, when the Ataris took the stage, but by then I had cleared enough room around myself so that no one was going to make me face-plant into the stage. Maybe it wasn't good mosh etiquette, pushing those two guys down, but I didn't want to break my glasses because some drunk idiots wanted to push me over. 

And now for some blurry, but close up photos of the opening acts:

And then it was time for the Ataris, and a part of me freaked out, just like when I saw Finch. I listen to a lot of music, but like most people, there are some bands that are particularly special, and no matter how old I am, I'll still act like I'm 17 again, if I get to see them perform. 

Yeaaaaahhh, buddy.

I didn't end up taking a whole lot of photos, because I wanted to enjoy the moment. They did play the entire album, including three older songs, and the crowd loved it. I loved it. I don't think the show could have been better. And to put the cherry on top of what was already a near-perfect night, I got one of the set lists, handed to me by Kris Roe himself. 

Seriously, I could have died in that very moment and been happy with how things were ending. 

Now, if you've stuck with me thus far, I have two more things to report on and then you can stop reading, I promise. 

I was also been fortunate enough to go to a Celtics game. They played against the Toronto Raptors (and lost) but I still had a great time. I went with my roommate and one of our really good friends. 

Yes, those are Nesquik bunny ears peering out from behind; and they're just the ears - the bunny is not being a pervert. Which, I guess, somehow makes it seem more creepy. 

We had nosebleed seats, but it didn't matter, we shouted and cheered just as loudly (or probably even more loudly since we were up so high). 

See? Pretty high up.

Now for those of you who know that I'm from So-Cal, this probably seems like a big backstabbing incident against the Lakers, going to a Celtics game, but hey, I live in Boston now. I'd rather not get stabbed from cheering for the Lakers. And besides, I'm not even sure who's on the Lakers' line-up now, unfortunately. 

Well, I know he's still there. He'll probably die on the court. 

And for my last recap, I met Michio Kaku, physicist and author. He just came out with a new book, The Future of the Mind: The Scientific Quest to Understand, Enhance, and Empower the Mind and the Brookline Booksmith hosted an event for him.

I had read one of his previous books, Parallel Worlds: A Journey Through Higher Creation, Higher Dimensions, and the Future of the Cosmos after a recommendation from a friend, and thoroughly enjoyed it. Dr. Kaku was very entertaining during his presentation, and for someone like me, who has absolutely no background in physics, I was still able to follow most of what he was referencing, and felt much more educated after leaving. 

Sometimes I don't feel like things like this actually happened, even though I have photographic evidence. 

 

And that my friends, is everything worthy of note that I have been up to lately. Now all I have to do in the next few weeks is graduate. Again. More on that in an upcoming post. 

I think I'll probably about as sweaty as Jiji from now until then. Hopefully not. 

Holy Cheese Whiz, It's Been Awhile: Travels

So I'm talking to my best guy friend the other day and he mentions that I haven't written on my blog in some time. And now looking at my five-and-a-half-minute hallway, he's absolutely correct. In order to not make everyone (and by everyone, I mean all three of you who actually read this)'s eyes bleed, I'll chop up what I've been doing for the past four months into two posts: travel and other things I've been up to.

Off we go then!

The last time I left you, I was about to travel to Berlin. Which I did, with my auntie and two friends. I saw the following:

The Berlin Zoo

The Tiergarten, Berlin's answer to Central Park 

The Victory Column. And no, I wasn't looking up her skirt. 

The Brandenburg Gate

Me in front of the Brandenburg Gate, in case you were wondering if I had just stolen these images off the Internet and claimed that I had gone to Berlin, and really hadn't.

Berlin wasn't terribly different from Rome, which I visited last year. I know about two words of German, but I tried real hard to figure things out. Apparently 70% of Berlin was bombed out during World War II (which I was not aware of before traveling there) so unfortunately, there's not a lot of historical sites left. 

I mean, there's a few historical sites left.

The most handsome historical reenactment ever.

Oh, and there's still places like this.  The Charlotteburg Palace. 

 There were a few Christmas markets still up, with fun things like marzipan potatoes.

One of our cab drivers asked us how long we were staying in the city, and when we told him, he said, "Bah, you only need two to three days to see everything." We were there for six days, and I don't think we covered everything, even though we did see quite a bit of the city. 

And this is my boyfriend, Igel. He's a Berliner, and only speaks German. 

I was also fortunate to visit New York recently. I stayed at a super mod-60s-esque hotel that made me feel like I wasn't quite cool enough to stay there, but I think I might have been able to pull it off once the weekend was over. 

See? Here's proof. Sort of. 

I planned my trip around a project I've done for my publishing class this term on Harriet the Spy. Louise Fitzhugh's classic is celebrating its 50th year of publication, and there have been quite a few events to celebrate all things Harriet. 

Harriet swag, say whaaaaat?

I was fortunate enough to see Louise's original illustrations and the synopsis of Harriet through the kindness of the people at the Eric Carle Museum in Amherst about a month prior to go to New York. (If you're interested, these illustrations, plus the illustrations from the sequel, The Long Secret, will be on display soon; check them out!)

But I based my trip to see two fantastic authors, Rebecca Stead and Gregory Maguire, along with children's literature critic and historian, Leonard Marcus, give a talk on Harriet and their experiences with the book. All three of them, in fact, have essays in the Random House 50th anniversary edition of the book, as seen above. 

Okay, it's a little fuzzy, but it's them, I swear.

All three had very unique experiences with the book (Gregory even brought in one of his old spy journals, much like Harriet's) and the crowd was attentive and I had a great time. Afterward, I was able to talk with all three (and get them to sign my copy of Harriet, yeah!) and it was interesting to speak with each of them individually. I think I scared Leonard, but I was sort of gushing about having read his book for my publishing class and how I was doing my project around Harriet, and maybe I came on a little too strong.

Rebecca was incredibly nice and when I told her I was a MFA student at Simmons, she was so supportive and listened to everything I had to say. I've sort of been in a funk with my writing lately, and since I'm trying to prep it to send out for agent representation, I'm in a weird mood about it and trying to work with what I've got. But Rebecca told me (and signed my book with the same words), "Keep writing!" And it was so simple and perfect at the same time. The way she said it and the way she didn't make me feel a fool with the major fangirling that I was doing, it made me feel a lot better about my writing.

Gregory was really funny and told me that he appreciated a Simmons student coming to the panel. I almost passed out (similar to when I met MT Anderson and Don Rosa in the past) when Gregory told me to tell my professor hello. Part of my mind was screaming at me, "WHAT IS HAPPENING? THIS IS NOT REAL LIFE! WHO ARE YOU THAT GREGORY MAGUIRE CASUALLY TELLS YOU TO TELL YOUR PROFESSOR 'HELLO'?" Thankfully I did not pass out and was able to graciously tell him that I would certainly pass along such an important message.

After grabbing a New York slice (well, duh, what else was I going to eat?) and deciding to visit the New York Public Library, where Leonard had curated an exhibit on children's books, The ABC of It: Why Children's Books Matter, I hailed a cab and headed to the library. 

A first edition of Harriet. 

An illustration from the Wizard of Oz.

Alice, whose neck seems to be growing…

When there is a reproduction of the car from The Phantom Tollbooth, you sure as hell get into it, no matter how goofy you look.

After I left the library, I had some time to kill before I had to dash off to catch the evening performance of Newsies (and you all know my love for Newsies) so I headed back to my hotel. I got a bite to eat at a diner around the corner from my hotel, then went and got ready for the show.

I had a pretty good seat, because I'm an adult…and the King of New York. 

The show was amazing and I had a fantastic time. The dancing was spectacular and the songs that they added in that weren't in the original movie were fun. After the show, I bummed around Times Square for a bit, then went back to the hotel for the night. 

The next day, I didn't have anything planned before I had to go back to the bus station, so I decided to visit my woolly mammoth skeleton pal at the American Museum of Natural History, because why not? I had thought about this a few times over the course of the weekend, but I wasn't on anyone's schedule, and it was a good feeling. I could literally do whatever I wanted, and I wanted to see the woolly mammoth skeleton. 

So I did.

There were quite a bit of children at the AMNH (YOUTHS!) so I hung out there for a bit, then went to the Port Authority and headed back to Boston. All in all, a wonderful, wonderful weekend. 

And so ends my tale about my travels. More to come with what else I've been up to lately.